Monday, November 19, 2007

A brefe chronycle concernynge the examinacyon and death of the blessed martyr of Christ syr Iohan Oldecastell, 1544

Christian martyrs were totally buff in the 15th Century! Sir John Oldcastle was a soldier and Lollard who was convicted of heresy and escaped from the Tower of London...but then they caught him again after he supposedly committed treason against Henry V, and he was executed.

From the details of his life, many have drawn parallels between Oldcastle and Shakespeare's Sir John Falstaff. There's even evidence that Falstaff was initially called "Oldcastle," but his name was changed. I think that's for the best...this guy is most un-Falstaffian.

Sir John Oldcastle was burned (alive? probably not) in 1417 and became a martyr to the people. Plus, he was obviously a total ass kicking soldier and had very nice, almost Jesus-like abs which he apparently liked to show off in battle to intimidate his French enemies. Sexiness is very important in a warfare situation. I like how he's dressed like a cast member from 300.


Meghan said...

Best line in this manuscript gloss:

"almost Jesus-like abs"


(Is Doug going to kill me for commenting first? I'm totally intruding on his territory)

Doug said...


I'd also like to add this Lollard made me lol.

Sarah Redmond said...

Jesus does usually have nice abs. I really can't get over his scant clothing.

Also, why didn't I think of the lollard/lol connection? Damn.

Possible Lollard punchlines:

--"We can has Iconoclasm now?"
--"I'm in ur church, schism-in' shit up"
--"Latin sux."
--"I had the body of Christ, but I eated it."