Saturday, June 2, 2012

A Maydens Lamentation for a Bedfellow. Or, I can, nor will no longer lye alone, 1615






















Don't pretend you don't watch Toddlers & Tiaras. Just don't. We need to all be open and honest. This is a safe space. Now admit that it's your favorite show and this past season was AMAZING. Exhibit A: Honey Boo Boo Child, who I learned today is getting her own show! So drink your Go-Go Juice and listen up.

It is by wonderful coincidence that "A Maydens Lamentation for a Bedfellow. Or, I can, nor will no longer lye alone" had the perfect pageant picture, because this ballad is so absolutely appropriate. It perfectly expresses a perspective that all those pageant kids are going to have when they realize that their self worth has been completely based how they look. What does one do with that knowledge? Here's a representative stanza:

Some Maides are coy, and proud withall,
When alas their beauty is but small
Whilst I live Ile nere be coy to none,
Because I will no longer ly alone.

That's right girls -- don't be coy! Sparkle, baby!

Live every day like you've just been crowned Ultimate Grand Supreme.

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