Thursday, May 8, 2008

The art of distillation, 1664

Methamphetamine is, I think, the most unglamorous drug around. I was in rural northern Florida over Christmas, and we thought we stumbled across an old campfire, but there were all these burnt cans of lighter fluid and glass jars and parts of a rusted grill scattered around, and we realized that it was probably a place where someone was cooking meth. (I watch Breaking Bad. I know what goes on.) It's a real problem in shitty, middle-of-nowhere places. And did you ever see those awful Montana Meth Project ads? They scared me straight! But until I came across this publication, euphemistically titled "The art of distillation, or, A treatise of the choicest spagyrical preparations, experiments, and curiosities," I never knew it was a problem in Restoration England.


Doug said...

Just now I was reading this manuscript with a law school assignment next to me, and the first sentence of the assignment prompt is, "Doug Funnie had a lot of things going for him until he started using and selling crystal meth." Coincidence? I think not.
In case you were wondering, Doug gets sold out by Patti, who works with local law enforcement to set up a sting on his lab. It scared me so much I almost decided to stop using/selling meth...that is until I read where Doug beat the charges and filed a countersuit against the cops! Payday!
You think meth will cause your teeth to fall out? Try getting hit square in the mouth with a broadside of Fourth Amendment justice.

Sarah Redmond said...

I like that law school teaches you not only to enforce the legal codes, but also how to exploit them if and when the time comes. Also, I would like you to legally change your name to "Doug Funnie," because from the facts presented in that case he seems like he'd live up to his name.