tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64847220081657881622024-02-25T16:13:26.450-05:00LOL Manuscripts!Everything could use a little lol. Especially the Renaissance.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.comBlogger136125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-74657731218557190352014-08-26T20:50:00.000-04:002014-08-26T20:54:36.978-04:00A Fooles Bolt is soone shot, 1630<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiymb7aPQK4Wfj4UD9vy51-njQoSGNEGdohwqCCgwNo_yJdwbr5-wWAyvf7hiPV7j2OxhIQOTCZL-VwmbbFhnmb475NU5C_7vylhtdkz7Ya_Lwedz6okD1fW4Pb04UZN8ch5CMOIugEPw6i/s1600/dirty+harry.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiymb7aPQK4Wfj4UD9vy51-njQoSGNEGdohwqCCgwNo_yJdwbr5-wWAyvf7hiPV7j2OxhIQOTCZL-VwmbbFhnmb475NU5C_7vylhtdkz7Ya_Lwedz6okD1fW4Pb04UZN8ch5CMOIugEPw6i/s1600/dirty+harry.png" height="400" width="375" /></a></div>
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This is some pretty cool perspective for a woodcut, eh? You wouldn't want to run into this guy in a filthy alleyway -- especially because he's wearing a chicken on his head for some reason.<br />
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<a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/20079/image" target="_blank">A Fooles Bolt is soone shot</a> is a cautionary tale about the inevitability of a violent death at the hands of a criminal assassin. Here's the original subtitle:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Good Friends beware, I'me like to hit yee,<br />
What ere you be heer's that will fit yee;<br />
Which way soever that you goe,<br />
At you I ayme my Bolt and Bowe.</blockquote>
Of course I replaced with a 70's action movie quote, but the sentiment is basically the same. The moral of this ballad is basically "I'm gonna get you, sucka." Each stanza focuses on a different type of person who needs comeuppance, and ends with the phrase "at him I make a shot." I also really like the name of the tune, "Oh no no no not yet." Sounds like a hit to me!<br />
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That phrase, "A fool's bolt is soon shot," is actually from16th century author and proverb-master <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Heywood" target="_blank">John Heywood</a>. This guy wrote every pithy epigrammatic one liner or cliche you've ever said. Seriously, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Heywood#Famous_epigrams" target="_blank">look</a>. This one in particular is about waiting for the opportune time to do whatever it is you want to do. It shows up in Shakespeare, too, in <i>Henry V </i>and <i>As You Like It</i>.<br />
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Remember that part in <i>Dirty Harry</i> after the famous quote, when Harry dry fires his gun and we're all like, "OMG he did fire six times!" and it's great? Well, that kinda happens in this ballad too:<br />
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And if that any have escap'd,<br />
and saies I did not hit them,<br />
It is because my Bolts are spent,<br />
but Ile have more to fit them.</blockquote>
Anyway, apparently <i>Dirty Harry</i> was inspired by the Zodiac Killer, but I think we both know where the idea really came from. <br />
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<br />Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-894007475589867092013-03-24T17:35:00.000-04:002013-03-24T17:36:27.584-04:00Peter Stubbe Redux; General Werewolf updateA while ago I did a post about the fairly famous German werewolf case of Peter Stubbe, from the pamphlet <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2010/01/true-discourse-declaring-damnable-life.html" target="_blank">A true discourse Declaring the damnable life and death of one Stubbe Peeter, 1590</a>. Recently I came across an absolutely amazing and beautiful animation of this same story that I really have to share:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IERIkkms3aM" width="420"></iframe><br />
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It's awesome, right? The stop-motion cutout animation, the song, everything is perfect and I love it so much. Werewolves are the best spooky monster, don't you think? They're my favorite anyway. I recently read the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rabid-Cultural-History-Diabolical-ebook/dp/B0072NWKG0" target="_blank"><i>Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus</i></a>, which speaks about the tie between rabies and the "werewolf" myth. (Although the best parts of that book deal with Louis Pasteur and modern-day cases of the disease. Still, I recommend it.)<br />
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Also I started watching the MTV show <i>Teen Wolf</i> (don't judge me) because it was on Netflix Instant. Ya'll -- for real -- that show is pretty good. You're probably thinking it'd be terrible, but just watch a few episodes. They get the whole monstrous-transformation-as-stand-in-for-adolescence thing down pat. It's really nicely shot, they crib from Val Lewton movies like <i>Cat People</i>, and -- most importantly -- it's one of the most female gaze-y things I've ever seen. If I was still in grad school I'd be breaking out the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_Pleasure_and_Narrative_Cinema" target="_blank">Laura Mulvey</a> every episode.<br />
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Anyway, this has been your werewolf update I guess? I'll leave you with this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRsR0SJ45f1fWMN4ixb7EE8reBpDtEmhmTkyVrr-ONDCk_gb_JEtxhFclZNeTJStdl26EEyKbBwl6gHwGcMVi9MRbmLoa-Dcspy1fFho2QzGvXDCD-Ul8YxLt8oubIPxglphxY4efLNBcD/s1600/mt+goats+tweet.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRsR0SJ45f1fWMN4ixb7EE8reBpDtEmhmTkyVrr-ONDCk_gb_JEtxhFclZNeTJStdl26EEyKbBwl6gHwGcMVi9MRbmLoa-Dcspy1fFho2QzGvXDCD-Ul8YxLt8oubIPxglphxY4efLNBcD/s400/mt+goats+tweet.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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R.I.P Peter Stubbe. The killjoys got you after all. Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-29311866227370518422012-09-22T13:02:00.000-04:002012-09-22T15:33:15.762-04:00The Dead Mans Song, 1685<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiWDdBYoZLODzOcXx7lKsFq5otBia-tWebC4WreF2Jt94jkB_Trm2z4dh6YmeBDUAYsipQy1b_2N6dxiIdZKzUgici9AfVIncITjJDAay0AQawqMGGxYYWqAjngMFOHRAHtzhr-mGfvAfg/s1600/ermahgerd.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiWDdBYoZLODzOcXx7lKsFq5otBia-tWebC4WreF2Jt94jkB_Trm2z4dh6YmeBDUAYsipQy1b_2N6dxiIdZKzUgici9AfVIncITjJDAay0AQawqMGGxYYWqAjngMFOHRAHtzhr-mGfvAfg/s400/ermahgerd.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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This is a preview of my new hit blog ERMAHGERD, MAHNERSCRERPTS! You're gonna lerv it. (Seriously, I think <a href="http://i.qkme.me/3pl0am.jpg" target="_blank">that girl</a> is amazing.)</div>
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Anyway, <a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/21666/image#" target="_blank"><i>The Dead Mans Song</i></a> is pretty good. It's a lot like the <i>Inferno</i> -- a man dies and is shown Heaven for a few stanzas and it is super nice! Everything's made of diamonds and pearls and gold and it smells like flowers! "ERMAHGERD, HERVERN! ERTS DA BERST!" we're obviously meant to think.</div>
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But then, our narrator sees "a cole-black Den / all tan'd with soot and smoak." Guess what? It's Hell. Then we get a litany of all the sinners who are punished according to their crimes. For example, a man damned for the sin of pride whose "face with knives was slasht / And in a Cauldron of poyson filth / his ugly corps were washt." Other people have vipers tearing out their bowels and molten gold poured in their mouths; Judas makes a cameo, some hell hounds show up...you get the picture. Anyway, hell scares him so much that he comes back to life and promises to be really, really super good. DA ERND.</div>
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Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-12755332664759408032012-07-07T18:00:00.000-04:002012-07-08T14:24:23.433-04:00The Cryes of the Dead, 1620<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibA8WkK8b5MzMuwMCAqz3Kt8YVA14_h_ffdnp7zotaj4odsYady-zXCxFMbwQiGtbMGdyIGpc0u2HYzkUNUDwD0nAvnVxXW1JUHnFaIQyJoHMepfS1X7tud6MyufgZflLTqvd7srGBejuF/s1600/Baby+pinata.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibA8WkK8b5MzMuwMCAqz3Kt8YVA14_h_ffdnp7zotaj4odsYady-zXCxFMbwQiGtbMGdyIGpc0u2HYzkUNUDwD0nAvnVxXW1JUHnFaIQyJoHMepfS1X7tud6MyufgZflLTqvd7srGBejuF/s400/Baby+pinata.png" width="395" /></a></div>
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"<a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/20048/image#" target="_blank">The Cryes of the Dead</a>" is a nice and gory murder ballad about a man, Richard Price the Weaver, who tortured and killed three young boys. Most ballads in the early modern era dealt with something scandalous or exploitive, as you may have noticed. And the more dramatic or disturbing the crime, the better for 17th century printers (of course, this principle remains basically exactly the same for modern news media as well).<br />
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But the "Cryes of the Dead" is also interesting in that it exposes how absolutely fucking terrible it was to be an apprentice in England during this time. Guys, it was the worst! Boys were usually sent away to an apprenticeship when they were between 10 -13 years old. There were few laws to protect them from brutality from their masters. For example, in this ballad's section of <a href="http://www.archive.org/stream/pepysiangarlandb00pepyuoft/pepysiangarlandb00pepyuoft_djvu.txt" target="_blank"><i>A Pepysian Garland</i></a>, we get the story of how, on "October 8, 1655, Mathew Nicholas was discharged from his apprenticeship to an Uxbridge tool-maker, William Lovejoy, because it was proved that Lovejoy had grossly mistreated the boy, 'tyinge and fetteringe him to the shoppe, and that the said master his wife and mother did most cruelly and inhumanely beate his said apprentice, and also whip'd him until he was very blooddy and his flesh rawe over a great part of his body, and then salted him, and held him naked to the fyre, beinge soe salted to add to his paine.'" Yikes.<br />
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Richard Price is an even nastier character. We learn that:<br />
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Many poore Prentisses <br />
to himselfe did he bind [...]<br />
Beating them cruelly<br />
for no cause, tel they syed:<br />
Spurning and kicking them, <br />
as if dogs they had beene,<br />
Careles in cruelty, <br />
was this wretch ever seene.<br />
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Price beats to death one apprentice, and then another. Here's one of the gorier/more upsetting parts, when the third murdered boy's body is discovered:<br />
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his poor mangled corpse,<br />
By neighbors there was found,<br />
bruised and beaten sore,<br />
with many a deadly wound. <br />
His brains ny broken forth,<br />
and his neck burst in twain,<br />
On his Limbs over all,<br />
spots of blood did remain.<br />
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Yuck, right? This finally leads people to start thinking that maybe they should tell the po-po about Price, and he gets arrested. But for most apprentices who were cruelly treated, they had no recourse and were expected to endure the abuse in hopes that they would learn the trade and eventually have some economic independence. <br />
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So the woodcut is really odd and funny, but I had to spoil it by actually reading the ballad and now I'm depressed. Leave those kids alone! They just wanted to weave! And we all know <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc0NxKgoUfU" target="_blank">weaving is a man's game</a>.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-75532689161088435302012-07-02T20:12:00.000-04:002012-07-04T17:03:48.579-04:00Chastities Conquest; or, No Trusting before Marriage, 1672<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrQW0UVcuXJntJh3Qp4G-lWae7oiBgDNW3ok4Rf8D8q4oKztgVrXEo2yiQGvp2nmn9C2cQdb5M7zO2vp6EolL7jbvt6qY9f-nrbNRgUXwiu94Cvq4HLnANFSRPETgieRiuLm36fKCGITG/s1600/call+me+maybe.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrQW0UVcuXJntJh3Qp4G-lWae7oiBgDNW3ok4Rf8D8q4oKztgVrXEo2yiQGvp2nmn9C2cQdb5M7zO2vp6EolL7jbvt6qY9f-nrbNRgUXwiu94Cvq4HLnANFSRPETgieRiuLm36fKCGITG/s400/call+me+maybe.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />By now, we've all been subjected to the undeniable appeal of teen pop sensation Carley Rae Jepson's infectious summer hit, "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtdFIwKPTmY" target="_blank">Call Me Maybe.</a>" America loves it!<br />
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But, as with all things, it has its antecedents in the 17th century. Much like "Call Me Maybe," the ballad "<a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/21146/image" target="_blank">Chastities Conquest</a>" is also a beautiful paen to sweet sweet love. Also, you can sing it to the tune of "Call Me Maybe"!:<br />
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<i>If as you say you Love<br />make I'se your wedded Mate,<br />And you shall freely have</i><br />
<i>whatever you'd be at.<br />Will you not then my Joy<br />without your wedded strike.<br />No by my troth not I<br />Such lovins I'se not like.<br />But wedded my Arms shall bless<br />thy passion to the light<br />And with a consenting kiss<br />my Love to his Joys invite.</i><br />
<i> ...</i><br />
<i>For when I touch thy Breasts<br />thy charms so fire me<br />Yet needless is a Priest,<br />then come no nigher me</i><br />
<i>... </i><br />
<i>Let's no kind minutes wast<br />I'le lead thee to my Bed,<br />Where Loves delights we'll taste<br />and so tomorrow be wed.</i><br />
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It sort of works, right? A little bit more emphasis on premarital sex, but still -- close! "Chastities Conquest" is <i>actually </i>sung to the tune of "Canst thou not weave Bone-lace" (that old standard), which is obviously the exact same song.<br />
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I bet in the summer of 1672, "Chastities Conquest" was EVERYWHERE! People were singing it all the time -- in the streets and the fields and while they were <strike>in the shower</strike> dying of preventable diseases. I'faith, it is my jam. <br />
<br />Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-43102619164868571612012-06-02T11:36:00.001-04:002012-06-02T11:48:18.516-04:00A Maydens Lamentation for a Bedfellow. Or, I can, nor will no longer lye alone, 1615<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiixpuYkOClX28CiGwo8BRxT3N6-DBhR70q1lOEIhu90uS7BWhMgPQLszDqJQKJMLCwgRnika3AR6KdluZNKeg3Jtpf7h5W5lYTWIYE_H1StfmKJzhn-JZ7b8nyPxQ1NNIEHGW1qaWMlZFa/s1600/sparkle+baby.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiixpuYkOClX28CiGwo8BRxT3N6-DBhR70q1lOEIhu90uS7BWhMgPQLszDqJQKJMLCwgRnika3AR6KdluZNKeg3Jtpf7h5W5lYTWIYE_H1StfmKJzhn-JZ7b8nyPxQ1NNIEHGW1qaWMlZFa/s400/sparkle+baby.png" width="302" /></a></div>
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Don't pretend you don't watch <i>Toddlers & Tiaras</i>. Just don't. We need to all be open and honest. This is a safe space. Now admit that it's your favorite show and this past season was AMAZING. Exhibit A: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9nbhzKaqvA" target="_blank">Honey Boo Boo Child</a>, who I learned today is getting <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/television/honey-boo-boo-child-aka-toddlers-tiaras-pageant-tot-alana-thompson-lands-spinoff-show-tlc-article-1.1088332?localLinksEnabled=false" target="_blank">her own show</a>! So drink your Go-Go Juice and listen up. <br />
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It is by wonderful coincidence that "<a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/20113/image" target="_blank">A Maydens Lamentation for a Bedfellow. Or, I can, nor will no longer lye alone</a>" had the perfect pageant picture, because this ballad is so absolutely appropriate. It perfectly expresses a perspective that all those pageant kids are going to have when they realize that their self worth has been completely based how they look. What does one do with that knowledge? Here's a representative stanza:<br />
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Some Maides are coy, and proud withall,<br />
When alas their beauty is but small<br />
Whilst I live Ile nere be coy to none,<br />
Because I will no longer ly alone.<br />
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That's right girls -- don't be coy! Sparkle, baby!<br />
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Live every day like you've just been crowned Ultimate Grand Supreme.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-56566100389023788952012-06-01T19:08:00.001-04:002012-06-02T12:04:21.499-04:00The Honour of a London 'Prentice; Being an Account of his Matchless Manhood and brave Adventures done in Turkey, 1763<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5O8xyecczIUGb_azcmNKM0BnnSNXdZHo2fANi-fKPHzaeScHGwTvIHU14GeBuHEocN7AskvUsmTmBlokz8yMxQP94nW1i6IpmBlHrg5xAQGMGnCoCsEZcviMziCOsBZBnoy9q1ue3-0W/s1600/Cat+Dancers.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5O8xyecczIUGb_azcmNKM0BnnSNXdZHo2fANi-fKPHzaeScHGwTvIHU14GeBuHEocN7AskvUsmTmBlokz8yMxQP94nW1i6IpmBlHrg5xAQGMGnCoCsEZcviMziCOsBZBnoy9q1ue3-0W/s640/Cat+Dancers.png" width="412" /></a></div>
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Listen, we need to talk about something. Something important. Something that is a documentary and the name of the documentary is <i><u>CAT DANCERS</u></i>.<br />
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It is the best, most beautiful, most bizarre and insane thing I have ever seen. The official summary reads: "the mesmerizing and haunting tale of the husband-and-wife team who first engaged the world in the art and tragedy of exotic cat entertainment." And now you can watch it in full on <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/361440/cat-dancers" target="_blank">Hulu</a>! Basically, there's no reason why everyone isn't obsessed with this documentary. It is a classic case of escalation in storytelling. You think it's about one thing and you're like, "whoa" and then another thing happens and you're like, "NO!" and then another thing happens and you're like, "AAAAHHH!"<br />
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Anyway, "The Honour of a London 'Prentice; Being an Account of his Matchless Manhood and brave Adventures done in Turkey" is <a href="http://ebba.english.ucsb.edu/ballad/31317/image" target="_blank">about</a> an English dude who goes to Turkey and talks about how great England is. So they throw him to the Lions, but because they starved the lions for 10 days they're super tired and kind of sluggish. Then he does what we would all do in that situation:<br />
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Into each Throat he thrust his Arm <br />
with all his Might and Power; <br />
From thence with manly Force, <br />
He tore their Hearts asunder, <br />
And at the King he threw them <br />
To all the People's Wonder.<br />
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After that impressive display, the 'Prentice is pardoned, and the king gives him his daughter to marry! Huzzah! <br />
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Basically this ballad is exactly like the movie <i>CAT DANCERS</i> if there were more weird sexual politics and sparkly costumes and also the lions won.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-442754020087915842011-06-14T19:26:00.005-04:002011-06-14T21:30:18.962-04:00A Worthy Example of a Vertuous Wife, who Fed her Father with her own Milk, 1686a.k.a. <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2009/01/renaissance-youre-so-gross.html">Renaissance, you're so gross!</a> Part II<br /><br />Father's day is coming up, so figured I'd disturb the holy hell out of you this year.<br /><br />You probably want to send this to your dad:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn8Ooa0fQamQJ2-2BgHFfOZvxbIohQv9kya9aiYnwvqYlblIQRTx9RQxzRiAXx5FVee7_xrotdpTZdw5Q4RcOIupes6MIJBcckdBx9DHgZpEVL2KrnKkTAyQxkB8cXN8e6G8yK6xqC0Rkq/s1600/milk.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 295px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn8Ooa0fQamQJ2-2BgHFfOZvxbIohQv9kya9aiYnwvqYlblIQRTx9RQxzRiAXx5FVee7_xrotdpTZdw5Q4RcOIupes6MIJBcckdBx9DHgZpEVL2KrnKkTAyQxkB8cXN8e6G8yK6xqC0Rkq/s400/milk.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5618243052341944338" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That's right. And apparently this is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Charity">thing</a>.<br /><br />Anyway, the story here is that a man is arrested and sentenced to starve to death in jail. His daughter gets permission to visit him every day, but she's searched so she can't sneak him any food. Then, she has a terrific idea:<br /><br />"No Meat nor drink she with her brought<br />to help him there distrest,<br />But every day she nourisht him,<br />with Milk from her own Breast.<br /><br />Thus by her Milk he was preserv'd,<br />a twelvemonth and a day,<br />And was as fair and fat to see,<br />yet no man knew which way."<br /><br />Now I get the whole Roman Charity/act of selflessness thing, but...no and gross.<br /><br />I recently read about some <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/08/human-milk-cow-china_n_873354.html">genetically modified cows</a> making "human" breast milk, which is also sort of upsetting. Although, comparatively, not so much. You know, because of the thing I was talking about before. About the lady breastfeeding her own father. That thing.<br /><br />Happy Father's day!Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-81128243038076306932011-01-07T17:14:00.012-05:002011-01-07T18:10:30.885-05:00The Wonderfull Battell of Starelings,1622Today in topical dead bird news:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hZUDEtK3rsbJUVh1sOF2hZyzWmljwsIdsxFCmjUC7X8HpSxH44MTZhsClp3Tzwx74yr044PBPkrRFZuVUCN4zoAwrKSWkzv3jIpnEucsBc_i2jPRaTKwl7cvUZVEtrNbnJ95nZxdcl-0/s1600/starelings.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 301px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hZUDEtK3rsbJUVh1sOF2hZyzWmljwsIdsxFCmjUC7X8HpSxH44MTZhsClp3Tzwx74yr044PBPkrRFZuVUCN4zoAwrKSWkzv3jIpnEucsBc_i2jPRaTKwl7cvUZVEtrNbnJ95nZxdcl-0/s400/starelings.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559585223865547058" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />With all the <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40921795/ns/us_news-environment/">dead birds falling from the sky</a> lately (a.k.a. "the <a href="http://www.universetoday.com/82263/aflockalypse-mass-animal-deaths-now-mapped-on-google/">Aflockalypse</a>"), I was reminded of this pamphlet I've had saved for a while. Suddenly, it's relevant!<br /><br />In Cork, Ireland on October 12-14, 1621, it was raining starlings! But this wasn't just some boring dead bird situation -- these starlings were at war. Hordes of birds reportedly converged in such numbers that "the ayre was obscured and darkened by them." The birds, "mounting up into the Skies, encountered one another with such a terrible Shock, as the Sound amazed the whole City and the Beholders," until “there fell down in the City, and into the Rivers, Multitudes of Starlings or Stares, some with Wings broken, some with Legs and Necks broken, some with Eyes picked out, some their Bills thrust into the Breast and Sides of their Adversaries.” Damn. Can I just say that 400 years ago birds knew how to die with some pizazz! These 21st century birds just flop down on the ground without putting on a show of <span style="font-style: italic;">any </span>kind.<br /><br />After it was over, the amount of dead birds "was so great, that they were taken up with shovels, and swept together with besomes, that bushels were filled with them." The author seems to think this is bad, but I bet the starving Irishmen were pretty stoked, right?<br /><br />What did it all mean? Well, like everything else bad that happened in the 17th century, "it doth prognosticate either God's mercy to draw us to repentence, or his justice to punish our sinnes and wickednesse, if we do not make haste to repent in due time."<br /><br />But what about these recent bird deaths? Surely they are a message from God? A sign of the apocalypse? Well, <a href="http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/01/maybe-kirk-cameron-can-explain-these-bird-deaths">renowned theologian and former <span style="font-style: italic;">Growing Pains </span>star Kirk Cameron says</a>: <span style="font-weight: bold;">no!</span> Don't be stupid. Case closed.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-62786003472038393962010-05-01T12:50:00.011-04:002010-05-01T16:42:51.233-04:00Shepherd's ingenuity: or, The praise of the green gown, 1688<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUBmNxMYlMnETuq1k7QVZlxn7InU86VFuXAz15INsU2BBJGo0zUgEXyeR7PAXBqfg-5XplbiQL4uIXppnyZ2M2RxkNVKsBQLV7Dn9w9HlCv_FuiWdmNvEDhTdhxHwC3Iw3VNNhvMNV5lmU/s1600/makeout.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 386px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUBmNxMYlMnETuq1k7QVZlxn7InU86VFuXAz15INsU2BBJGo0zUgEXyeR7PAXBqfg-5XplbiQL4uIXppnyZ2M2RxkNVKsBQLV7Dn9w9HlCv_FuiWdmNvEDhTdhxHwC3Iw3VNNhvMNV5lmU/s400/makeout.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466345506719836274" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />May is International Make-out Month*! It's true! I'll explain: May 1st, or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Day">May Day</a>, is a traditional celebration welcoming the coming of Spring. Originally a pagan holiday, "going a-Maying" was embraced by people in medieval and Renaissance cultures, and still remains an important holiday (it's kind of like Labor Day for everyone except Americans. Lame.).<br /><br />Anyway, it has a sexy history! Celebrating the "Rites of May" was supposed to be about running around in the fields all night to ostensibly gather flowers and greenery and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maypole#Symbolism">maypoles </a>or whatever, but <span style="font-style: italic;">really </span>you could use it as an excuse for getting trashed and hitting on people. Many Protestants opposed these celebrations on account of all these unchaperoned young people doing who-knows-what in the woods. Phillip Stubbes thought it was the worst, citing May Day's potentiality for moral bankruptcy and sexual hedonism in his <span style="font-style: italic;">Anatomie of Abuses</span>:<br /><br />"I have heard it credibly reported (and that viva voce) by men of great gravitie and reputation, that of fortie, threescore, or a hundred maides going to the wood over night, there have scarecely the thirde parte of them returned home againe undefiled" (Ch. XIII).<br /><br />Really? Wow. <a href="http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/herrick/corinna.htm">Robert Herrick liked it</a>, though. The author of <span style="font-style: italic;">Shepherd's ingenuity</span> seems to like it too, explaining the joys of woodland make-out sessions and "green gowns," a phrase alluding to the ruined dress a girl would receive from rolling around in the grass with her lover. To be said to have a "green gown" eventually came to mean a woman was promiscuous. In addition to the super-hot picture, the ballad has some terrific advice for getting ladies:<br /><br />"Some for to gain their Ladies Love, <br />will give them Chains and Rings, <br />Some gives them Fans and Fancies too, <br />but these ate foolish things; <br />If you wou'd fain her Love obtain, <br />let this be your endeavour, <br />To give her a fair Gown of Green, <br />and then she's yours for ever. "<br /><br />See, it's easy! And today is the only day you can act like a 'ho and say it's "historical research!"<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">*Unofficial, and mostly made up by me.<span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;">Oh, and in other sexy news, I did an <a href="http://literarymakeovers.blogspot.com/2010/04/andrew-marvell.html">Andrew Marvell makeover</a>.</span><br /></span>Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-15273942681611684022010-04-02T06:30:00.004-04:002010-04-02T13:00:25.508-04:00A systeme of anatomy, 1685<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-soUKlYR3HPst0C32ItEfHyquA-KHHms80bktCwWEoCqTb6yXEtK6Od6fOuX8aPZh79B0SDygQ7Y-gE50Qt6mlmvy4r7xYVqmuz93PVO_6Chd9sPwJBULnWXvmxCjhpCahF9X6XBfwJc/s1600/head_of_hare.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 205px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-soUKlYR3HPst0C32ItEfHyquA-KHHms80bktCwWEoCqTb6yXEtK6Od6fOuX8aPZh79B0SDygQ7Y-gE50Qt6mlmvy4r7xYVqmuz93PVO_6Chd9sPwJBULnWXvmxCjhpCahF9X6XBfwJc/s400/head_of_hare.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454159863764351778" border="0" /></a><br /><span>It's Easter! <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2008/03/hunting-of-conney-c-1620.html">Bunnies </a>and <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2008/03/samuel-peeps-2008.html">Candy </a>time! I think Jesus may be involved in some fashion, too.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />A systeme of anatomy, treating of the body of man, beasts, birds, fish, insects, and plants</span> was written by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Collins">Samuel Collins</a> (1619-1670). This guy was apparently hot stuff in the medical field, and famously served as the personal physician to Tsar Aleksei Mikhailovich. Modern <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15370307">doctors still write</a> about his contributions to neurology! Anyway, when he busted up this rabbit's skull, he wrote some really flattering things about it, like this:<br /><br />"The Hemispheres of the Brain of this Animal are beautified with many Prominencies, adorned with various shapes and sizes."<br /><br />Beautified? Adorned? Seems like pretty flowery language to describe a brain. The only satisfactory explanation is that Dr. Collins was a zombie. Seriously, dude was way in to cracking open skulls and looking at brains...braaains...braaaaaains! And yet I think the worst part about the pictures is that he drew in the little bunny whiskers--it's like 10 times creepier because of that. Well, that and the fact that they look like the <span style="font-style: italic;">Donnie Darko</span> <a href="http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&rlz=&q=donnie+darko+rabbit&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=59W0S8veB8KqlAf59rx3&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBcQsAQwAA">nightmare rabbit</a>. Happy Zombie Easter, I guess.<br /><br />Now, as a bonus Easter present to you, I offer up this holiday-themed <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2008/05/why-renaissance-typography-is-awesome.html">Long S</a> from <span style="font-style: italic;">1 Henry IV</span>:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a293/angevin2/falstaff-rabbit-folio.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 397px; height: 94px;" src="http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a293/angevin2/falstaff-rabbit-folio.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Whoa. Easter just got real.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-45554930691866837102010-03-21T10:45:00.014-04:002010-03-21T16:39:51.219-04:00English military discipline, or, The way and method of exercising horse & foot according to the practice of this present time,1680<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoEdCIQU49B8aCZMv_FPc0BiXpVr8Xqb-LumxKkgWBDsUGbN-c_zXP1Es5jGDbv-Sbtw1Zy52ehfuJS3qU1PjqRaI8VIuOetU80CbxFRsRfDKq01P3n8Y0M_bLveRkLxA56dCwKTaEuUx/s1600-h/a.k..jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 379px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGoEdCIQU49B8aCZMv_FPc0BiXpVr8Xqb-LumxKkgWBDsUGbN-c_zXP1Es5jGDbv-Sbtw1Zy52ehfuJS3qU1PjqRaI8VIuOetU80CbxFRsRfDKq01P3n8Y0M_bLveRkLxA56dCwKTaEuUx/s400/a.k..jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451108411046792450" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Whenever people ask me if I had a good day, I think to myself, "did I have to use my A.K.?" That's a pretty good <a href="http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/funny-graphs-ice-cube-good-day.gif">litmus test</a> for the quality of day I had. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4RY-eJgHHs#t=3m50s">Ice Cube agrees with me</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">English Military Discipline</span> is a short publication about how to use your sword, pike, and <del>AK-47</del> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musket#Europe">musket</a>. It's devoted to instructions about military formations, organizations of ranks of soldiers, and strategies on how you should utilize firearms and other weapons during a battle. The basic thrust is that everyone should stand in lines or squares. Tactics! Basically I just liked the pictures of the guns. Here are some more:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJviiaAM_WbII5YapiIH3k1p6LjtGab2xkMBjaCpf2nlFECfvKAj4Va2miYyyZevxFA5lHhxN2Cah1RTvT_wVIRbDZxZzaSads28Ldok7pZSmGUkj5d5KbxyFPOHH3KHyrETXC2dG1_uBj/s1600-h/a_good_day.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJviiaAM_WbII5YapiIH3k1p6LjtGab2xkMBjaCpf2nlFECfvKAj4Va2miYyyZevxFA5lHhxN2Cah1RTvT_wVIRbDZxZzaSads28Ldok7pZSmGUkj5d5KbxyFPOHH3KHyrETXC2dG1_uBj/s400/a_good_day.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451121001462440050" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I gotta say it was a good day.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-49072970410757421632010-03-06T14:40:00.012-05:002010-03-06T21:21:57.543-05:00The Husband's Instructions to his Family, 1685<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmOOTju_TtuHn0m5P61vg3CKlDf0_f6u66mm0YmUE698qKyhZGZ8v4ZzMao79agv-BrZrIm0j1oYlzWkBtpSogKNgLE1jQzlanvzwH23L28L9Eou2YGU7aN2HeUvJaTgCVljzwjeoo9Gn_/s1600-h/Husbands_Instructions.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 391px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmOOTju_TtuHn0m5P61vg3CKlDf0_f6u66mm0YmUE698qKyhZGZ8v4ZzMao79agv-BrZrIm0j1oYlzWkBtpSogKNgLE1jQzlanvzwH23L28L9Eou2YGU7aN2HeUvJaTgCVljzwjeoo9Gn_/s400/Husbands_Instructions.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445621227952851026" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Okay, so the sign really said "A Family well Govern'd is, like a Kingdom, well Ruled," but this is essentially the same thing. Read it and weep, sis.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The husband's instructions to his family:, or, Household observations fit to be observed by vvife, children, and servants</span> is such a useful publication. In three instructive poems, we hear a husband's great ideas about how his wife, kids, and servants should behave. Just go to the column that represents the oppressed group to which you belong, and read what a rich white man thinks about you. TONS of good advice in here for all! We learn, for example, that a wife shouldn't wear makeup, or talk too loud, or nag nag nag her husband all the time he's the one making all the money around here for crying out loud what more do you want?!! The advice for servants is mostly about how they shouldn't steal or gamble. It also contains these immortal lines:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1uFdShUYH_cV9tenJE0GR9SZCWhX0YJwhrWCKWSCs237qqGiNErloIb-EXDWh4cJxvqsOZzzEgY0KmvRRHTQEgo0UI6qWQefQtlbpOjC-sf3IHzD-fCf0BRS7Bs0cdQPacewTE-QlfOM5/s1600-h/Husbands_instruc_quote.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 368px; height: 91px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1uFdShUYH_cV9tenJE0GR9SZCWhX0YJwhrWCKWSCs237qqGiNErloIb-EXDWh4cJxvqsOZzzEgY0KmvRRHTQEgo0UI6qWQefQtlbpOjC-sf3IHzD-fCf0BRS7Bs0cdQPacewTE-QlfOM5/s400/Husbands_instruc_quote.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445612976652653890" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I hate a slut, too. And don't even get me started on saucy knaves! Good servants are so hard to find these days. Basically the entire thing is reinforcing that patriarchy through the magical medium of poetry. Together at last.<br /><br />Finally, for good measure, a pretty funny <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2008/05/why-renaissance-typography-is-awesome.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Long S</span> </a>from the instructions for children poem to add to the collection:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPVEvvHy17PhWFxlJs9iDY3ISXi7-qaqI_hmHAmoG86x4-wPDPwEDe6z9FX34kx0gsN11Cxzv5l74e7etcUrwTNhRl_KBobGIQhKY3X6Pmx9TFxJlvFsyOlwVr4I0HGj5-tIAoyHA2RfD/s1600-h/Husbands_instruc_longS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 387px; height: 58px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzPVEvvHy17PhWFxlJs9iDY3ISXi7-qaqI_hmHAmoG86x4-wPDPwEDe6z9FX34kx0gsN11Cxzv5l74e7etcUrwTNhRl_KBobGIQhKY3X6Pmx9TFxJlvFsyOlwVr4I0HGj5-tIAoyHA2RfD/s400/Husbands_instruc_longS.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445613529600362802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Great set of instructions, husband! I'm off to wash off my makeup and work on my humility and modesty.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-64771559368808509752010-02-14T09:30:00.000-05:002010-02-14T09:32:11.043-05:00Loves Lamentable Tragedy, 1680<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4_mjZ11sbwTcpy0bLEcdjXElmx-v5hyphenhyphenc4mMCKFL9e9ZSppbvmJ-p5rQqGPWzJzrhPGSGo2_NpcsMAIdIKERPUSz8sac3ejmPJQfzfz65ZBraM3h8fXjgOsmo9pHCQfhvGtUoB9UBBBDce/s1600-h/Loves_Tragedy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 333px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4_mjZ11sbwTcpy0bLEcdjXElmx-v5hyphenhyphenc4mMCKFL9e9ZSppbvmJ-p5rQqGPWzJzrhPGSGo2_NpcsMAIdIKERPUSz8sac3ejmPJQfzfz65ZBraM3h8fXjgOsmo9pHCQfhvGtUoB9UBBBDce/s400/Loves_Tragedy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438105117213774498" border="0" /></a><br /> Love's Lamentable Tragedy, in this case, refers to the pain of lost love. From the title page:<i><br /><br />"When cruel lovers prove unkind, great sorrows they procure; and such strange pains the slighted find, that they cannot endure."<br /></i><br />I liked the image, because the woman doesn't die in the ballad--she's just super sad that her boyfriend left her. So the use of the iconic image of death (the ol' Skeleton with hourglass and arrow standby) is a metaphor for heartbreak. Poor lady.<br /><br />Anyway, if you want a more traditional Valentine image, check out the previous posts, featuring <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2008/02/villany-rewarded-or-pirates-last.html">cutting out of hearts</a>, hearts <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2009/02/guystarde-and-sygysmonde-1532.html">being cut out</a>, and early modern <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2009/02/anatomy-of-human-bodies-epitomized-1697.html">heart anatomy</a>. You know, romance.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-15158926188965600282010-01-23T17:04:00.010-05:002010-01-28T15:44:24.782-05:00A true discourse Declaring the damnable life and death of one Stubbe Peeter, 1590<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQChpKt257SEUnA2c0bmAIpVKwszk7pThW2kUrMn7StVVLiUBVW89XGaOChDAUw2hCA8Hre39Hlw6ykcz5o0zyl0A2eeVcX9l-8lRWqrkI7IedyzV8IKg_VYqswRc6XDiWv9i7vWO0xLdZ/s1600-h/werewolf.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 290px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQChpKt257SEUnA2c0bmAIpVKwszk7pThW2kUrMn7StVVLiUBVW89XGaOChDAUw2hCA8Hre39Hlw6ykcz5o0zyl0A2eeVcX9l-8lRWqrkI7IedyzV8IKg_VYqswRc6XDiWv9i7vWO0xLdZ/s400/werewolf.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430061528271258258" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The full title: <span style="font-style: italic;">A true discourse. Declaring the damnable life and death of one Stubbe Peeter, a most wicked sorcerer who in the likenes of a woolfe, committed many murders, continuing this diuelish practise 25. yeeres, killing and deuouring men, woomen, and children. Who for the same fact was taken and executed the 31. of October last past in the towne of Bedbur neer the cittie of Collin in Germany.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://img.wallpaperstock.net:81/new-moon-werewolves-wallpapers_14241_1680x1050.jpg">Werewolves </a>were a huge social problem in 16th century Europe. They were everywhere! Germany seemed to be especially afflicted. Apparently, this fellow <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Stumpp">Peter Stubbe</a>, "careles of saluation, gaue both soule and body to the deuil for euer." Problem was he didn't really want riches or fame. He was a total asshole/serial killer to start with, and he only asked the Devil to make it so that he might "woork his mallice on men, Women, and children, in the shape of some beast, wherby he might liue without dread or danger of life." Long story short, SHABLAM! WEREWOLF! Dude started killing everybody, and "oftentimes the Inhabitants found the Armes & legges of dead Men, Women, and Children, scattered vp and down the feelds." It was the worst.<br /><br />Anyway, some folks finally see Peter Stubbe and arrest him for suspicious werewolfy-type stuff. Then they tortured him on the rack and surprise surprise! He confessed everything! Werewolves absolutely hate torture, but then the townsfolk killed him (and his daughter and the town gossip, whom he implicated) in a fairly torturous fashion anyway. One point for God. P.S., if you'd like to read more about this fairly famous case, I recommend this article from <a href="http://roy25booth.blogspot.com/2009/01/peeter-and-wolf.html">Early Modern Whale</a>. It's pretty interesting.<br /><br />Can you honestly say you're "Team Jacob" now? I didn't think so.<br /><br />(By the way, <a href="http://literarymakeovers.blogspot.com/2009/10/becoming-better-jane.html">in the vein of <span style="font-style: italic;">Pride and Predjudice and Zombies</span></a>, which I read and really liked, I think that <span style="font-style: italic;">Wuthering Heights and Werewolves </span>is an obvious next step. Heathcliff is basically already a werewolf anyway. Someone get on it!)Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-15482972836928713372009-11-25T09:08:00.005-05:002009-11-25T09:59:09.331-05:00The Tears of the Indians, 1656<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn5B647ewPxjZrwyBztztFZKkG-jZ16Es4c8xo6ssAeH6sLUaZTKh7cdUvz9onr0eCK6D7GI-3AESuo_uQWMJY39-HtlGpZXmckeT8pETElEPsmVIMKTiXuUmdEb8g7PGCqmUneSQ2PUt_/s1600/Thanksgiving.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 262px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn5B647ewPxjZrwyBztztFZKkG-jZ16Es4c8xo6ssAeH6sLUaZTKh7cdUvz9onr0eCK6D7GI-3AESuo_uQWMJY39-HtlGpZXmckeT8pETElEPsmVIMKTiXuUmdEb8g7PGCqmUneSQ2PUt_/s400/Thanksgiving.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5408048312370117874" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's that time of year again. Turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and a side of pondering the oppression of native peoples. Also sometimes there's pumpkin pie!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartolom%C3%A9_de_las_Casas">Bartolomé de las Casas</a> (1484-1566) wrote this happy little book. It's about Spain's mistreatment and eventual genocide of Indians in Central America and the Caribbean. His father accompanied Columbus on two of his trips to the New World, bringing back Bartolomé a Taino slave, which was nice for him. He and his father immigrated to Hispanola in 1502, where his witnessed firsthand how much it sucked to be a native in the Caribbean. He felt super-bad about all the genociding, so he became a priest and an advocate for abolishing the enslavement of Indians. He was sort of successful, but when Spain was all like, "but we need people to work for us and we don't want to pay them!" de las Casas came up with the perfect solution . . . African slaves! Because they don't count. Everybody thought this was a <del>racist</del> <del>abominable</del> <del>hypocritical</del> great idea.<br /><br />So while he's pretty cool for being nice to Indians, he totally sucks for contributing to one of humanity's greatest horrors -- black slavery in the New World. Even-Steven? Not really, no. So happy Thanksgiving and <a href="http://www.smithsonianeducation.org/heritage_month/aihm/index.html">American Indian Heritage Month</a>, with respective apologies to Turkeys and Indians.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-35753224463117272822009-10-15T20:24:00.010-04:002009-10-21T13:53:25.366-04:00The Seaman's Secrets, 1626<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6_tbsrWO0eaztZpe1sQ8GRtuBntRYBRnX3sjY1LeO17HUqPLYL6H0N17ztrKsPxruXI00CY-2hp8MFnP6deNRN4tsE6RWVOsQZACiRK06hFBUYOKQWbkmHijGn1wb59SIQ-_CeKOMh4bS/s1600-h/compass.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 398px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6_tbsrWO0eaztZpe1sQ8GRtuBntRYBRnX3sjY1LeO17HUqPLYL6H0N17ztrKsPxruXI00CY-2hp8MFnP6deNRN4tsE6RWVOsQZACiRK06hFBUYOKQWbkmHijGn1wb59SIQ-_CeKOMh4bS/s400/compass.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392987874879701970" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Davis_%28English_explorer%29">John Davis</a> (c.1550-1605) was a successful explorer during the reign of Elizabeth I. He discovered the Falkland Islands, where his crew killed like 100,000 penguins and the meat spoiled and most of the sailors died of worms, and the Davis Straight, which he named after himself. Basically, he sailed all over the place (maybe even with Raleigh!). Then he invented some sort of quadrant called the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backstaff">Backstaff </a>that was pretty cool. Anyway, he published <a href="http://www.mcallen.lib.tx.us/books/seasecr/dseasec1.htm"><span style="font-style: italic;">The Seaman's Secrets</span></a>, a navigation guide, in 1594.<br /><br />Tragically, he was killed by Japanese pirates off of Sumatra in 1605. RIP, John Davis. Maybe if you REALLY knew how to navigate properly you would've made it to someplace cool like Atlantis or something.<br /><br />What is the next necessary thing to be learned?<br /><br />ps -- Do you know what a <a href="http://www.googlewhack.com/">Googlewhack</a> is? Because apparently this website has one! With two amazing words, I might add: <span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content"> <a href="http://bit.ly/1z2TQY" class="tweet-url web" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/1z2TQY<br /></a></span></span>Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-60313142964850319432009-07-30T11:01:00.001-04:002012-06-15T23:03:37.802-04:00Chirologia, or the Naturall Language of the Hand, 1644<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAJg9BE10NOO3s6Sr1nrvzRKLAoRX52ib6CmH4LvQ9p4o_5Oy-dVDiUo3FPZTqquRk8JkLUENVk0YNZX2ZHHMJkQrCLEaHLS3Nyw719dulouBfuqJkYBwlHXbySNEsP8r3Z6eZqMRVFeAW/s1600-h/hand+talkin%27.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" height="640" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5364263272810362162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAJg9BE10NOO3s6Sr1nrvzRKLAoRX52ib6CmH4LvQ9p4o_5Oy-dVDiUo3FPZTqquRk8JkLUENVk0YNZX2ZHHMJkQrCLEaHLS3Nyw719dulouBfuqJkYBwlHXbySNEsP8r3Z6eZqMRVFeAW/s640/hand+talkin%27.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;" width="434" /></a><span style="font-size: 100%;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Bulwer">John Bulwer</a> <span style="color: #660000;">was a medical practitioner and, essentially, an early linguistic theorist who explored the idea of the physical human body as a medium of communication. With </span><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=Q6uHV7EqbQcC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_v2_summary_r&cad=0"><i>Chirologia</i></a><span style="color: #660000;">, Bulwer created one of the first English books on deafness and the education of deaf-mutes. </span></span><span style="color: #660000; font-size: 100%; font-style: italic;">Chirologia</span><span style="color: #660000; font-size: 100%;"> comprehensively catalogs the meanings of hand gestures and emphasizes the value of manual gestures for speech, oration, and acting. His catalog of gestures is not based on a set "sign language," but rather his own observations and other classical texts. However, Bulwer did advocate for special schools for the deaf, although he was really more interested in devising ways of teaching the deaf to speak than in designing, describing, or using any sign language they might have of their own. </span><span style="font-family: "; font-size: 12;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: georgia;">[</span><a href="http://www.ilab.org/db/book826_749.html" style="font-family: georgia;">source</a><span style="font-family: georgia;">, </span><a href="http://www.vialibri.net/item_pg/4361107-1644-bulwer-john-chirologia-the-naturall-language-the-hand-composed-the.htm" style="font-family: georgia;">source</a><span style="color: #660000; font-family: georgia;">]</span></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: georgia;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "; font-size: 12;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: georgia;">Bulwer argu</span><span style="color: #660000;">ed that gestural language was universal and primary, while spoken language is just one more tool in the complex scheme of communication. His idea related to the contemporary interest in the notion of universal languages, as well as supporting what would later be known as the</span> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language#Gestural_theory">gestural theory</a><span style="color: #660000;">, which proposes all language evolved from gesture. </span></span> <span style="font-family: georgia;"><br /><br /><span style="color: #660000;">You can find more information on the book at the </span></span><a href="http://www.folger.edu/eduprimsrcdtl.cfm?psid=46" style="font-family: georgia;">Folger Shakespeare Library</a><span style="font-family: georgia;"> <span style="color: #660000;">and an you can check out an excerpt included in the 2001 book</span> </span><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=-c-dwk14mucC&pg=PA58&lpg=PA58&dq=Chirologia,+or+the+Naturall+Language+of+the+Hand,+1644&source=bl&ots=tUpD4R8lIk&sig=3aYwcK7LuDrl2DGgmXkb3sv76n4&hl=en&ei=PFlvSuGqF9iLtgfJ-OXZCA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3" style="font-family: georgia;">Imagining Language: An Anthology</a><span style="color: #660000; font-family: georgia;">, which is a collection of writings that "demonstrate the continuum of creative conjecture on language from antiquity to the present." So apparently, what I first thought of as funny Renaissance gang signs turned out to be a pretty important step for the instruction of the deaf and a prescient take on linguistic evolution. This makes me feel slightly bad for making a handjob joke.</span></span><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br /></span></span>Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-70870734661465440222009-05-21T08:40:00.004-04:002009-05-21T08:44:54.850-04:00The Description of a Monstrous Pig, 1562<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlY8aFKgls-MTPKHbWerSb5CLdaeU-pRD_TeNUR-XBWG3zALSzT1x9gaDLmCBYwzFtzlbL8LA7SOiG7N-APS-0gD3uiJmnrPZvfA4ojYEuCfyPWGB6_XjMWFRD3hbdjxVHVrSOmficBBX9/s1600-h/swine+flu.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 372px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlY8aFKgls-MTPKHbWerSb5CLdaeU-pRD_TeNUR-XBWG3zALSzT1x9gaDLmCBYwzFtzlbL8LA7SOiG7N-APS-0gD3uiJmnrPZvfA4ojYEuCfyPWGB6_XjMWFRD3hbdjxVHVrSOmficBBX9/s400/swine+flu.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337745663422258130" border="0" /></a><br /><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Good God, WHERE IS ITS FACE? This is the most awful picture I've ever seen, and I've seen some </span><a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2007/10/this-horyble-monster-1531.html">gross pig pictures</a> <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">i</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">n my day. This one comes courtesy of Robert Martin</span></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >, a London farme</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >r who had a sow that gave birth to seven normal piglets and one horribly deformed monster, "more monstrous than any that hath bene seene before this time, as you may see by this picture." I'm inclined to agree.<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" >According to the text, the piglet</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"> "hath a head contrary to all other of that kynd, it hath a face without a nose or eyes, saving a hole standing directly betwen the two eares which eares be broad and long, lyke the eares of a bloude hound, and a monstrous body, lyke vnto a thing that were lean, without heare. It hath feet very monstrous, with y</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><sup>e</sup> endes of them turning vpwards, lyke vnto forked endes." It died two hours</span><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" > after birth</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">.</span><br /></span></p> <p style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"> <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">Fortunately, there was a reason for its disfigurement and death: "let vs be assured that these straunge monstrous sightes do foreshew vnto vs, that [God's] heavy indignation wyl shortly come vpon vs for our monstrous livyng."</span><br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;">I think the same logic can be applied to swine flu, don't you? God's just trying to tell us that unless we clean up our polluted and diseased minds, we will probably die from an incurable virus. </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Thanks, Renaissance</span><span style="font-size:100%;">. Glad we cleared that up.<br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;">(And thanks to Geoff at Michigan State University for pretty much this entire post. Well done.)</span></p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">But seriously, WHERE IS ITS FUCKING FACE? It looks like it imploded! Pigs are messed up.</span><br /></span></p><p style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></p>Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-16154542919153151672009-05-11T08:30:00.009-04:002010-09-18T12:12:22.448-04:00Walter Raleigh was on The Simpsons!I don't normally tune in to <span style="font-style: italic;">The Simpsons</span>, but last night I was flipping through and saw that the first 5 minute vignette of this episode was about Queen Elizabeth and Sir Walter Raleigh! Homer is Raleigh and Marge is Elizabeth Throckmorton. It was fantastic! Here's the episode:<br /><object id="smotriComVideoPlayer" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="320" height="180"><param name="movie" value="http://pics.smotri.com/player.swf?file=v9635931eff&bufferTime=3&autoStart=false&str_lang=rus&xmlsource=http%3A%2F%2Fpics.smotri.com%2Fcskins%2Fblue%2Fskin_color.xml&xmldatasource=http%3A%2F%2Fpics.smotri.com%2Fskin_ng.xml" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://pics.smotri.com/player.swf?file=v9635931eff&bufferTime=3&autoStart=false&str_lang=rus&xmlsource=http%3A%2F%2Fpics.smotri.com%2Fcskins%2Fblue%2Fskin_color.xml&xmldatasource=http%3A%2F%2Fpics.smotri.com%2Fskin_ng.xml" quality="high" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="opaque" width="320" height="180" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br /><strong><a href="http://smotri.com/video/view/?id=v9635931eff" target="_blank">The Simpsons 2020 - Four Great Women and a Manicure</a></strong><br />I have always pictured King Phillip of Spain that way. Also, he had the best lines, like this one:<br /><br />"Guard, take him away and put things inside of him."<br />"Nice things?"<br />"No, <span style="font-style: italic;">not </span>nice things!"Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-52730610149351787162009-05-06T22:31:00.015-04:002010-03-25T15:41:46.776-04:00A true relation of the admirable voiage and trauell of William Bush, 1607<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3j8HEtu48K1C1Ih_06j5KXCkJupx4nDHn1OjiK0zsWGdbwpJHbxs52MNm8VlNsd3tCysRM6o4QoANLTi2Yh5qoooOVHjuJs8ePac63acryKds-q4petddSaNjrVUjc1-yBzgc8kWmf7WS/s1600-h/sailing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 274px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3j8HEtu48K1C1Ih_06j5KXCkJupx4nDHn1OjiK0zsWGdbwpJHbxs52MNm8VlNsd3tCysRM6o4QoANLTi2Yh5qoooOVHjuJs8ePac63acryKds-q4petddSaNjrVUjc1-yBzgc8kWmf7WS/s400/sailing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332906879477328802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Full title:<i> A true relation of the admirable voiage and trauell of William Bush gentleman who with his owne handes without any other mans helpe, made a pynace, in which he past by ayre, land, and water: from Lamborne, in Barkshire, to the custome house key in Londen. </i><br /><br />So, this pamphlet (written by Anthony Nixon) chronicles Bush's party trick of traveling by water, land, and air in a boat. Wait . . . what? This calls for research!<br /><br />According to<a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://books.google.com/books?id=HqTjKo_-eLgC&pg=PA57&lpg=PA57&dq=A+true+relation+of+the+admirable+voiage+and+trauell+of+William+Bush+gentleman&source=bl&ots=19ir5h_sAS&sig=9XBkvCCYOvLerP6HR6shWTA53hA&hl=en&ei=dUcCSqL4E4bIyQWDidySCA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6#PPP1,M1"> The Folger Library: Two Decades of Growth, An Informal Account</a> (1968), by Louis B. Wright, the document is "important as one of the earliest examples of journalistic reporting." He describes the image as, "Mr. Bush guiding his pinnace down a rope contraption from the top of the tower, to give it the appearance of a flying machine. His stunt in traveling by air, land, and water created a sensation at the time, and Nixon's book is a landmark in the history of reporting" (57).<br /><br />The actual text is in black letter and is pretty hard to read, but I gather that Bush's trick was pretty impressive. It strikes me as kind of lame though, like this was something he did on a dare to show up some other gentleman. It has a certain aren't-I-clever vibe, don't you think?<br /><br />Anyway, apparently if you're a journalist you should be glad that Mr. Bush made a "flying" ship and Nixon wrote about it. <i><br /></i>Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-62052855751121576132009-04-23T07:00:00.001-04:002009-04-23T11:31:12.544-04:00Happy Birthday Shakespeare!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY5NQ6t7fWAM4yg4ErDnWly9kpXyOK6lWJ7iFFaA2Eyfped_-YLRuYUqWJ6Z0YqCf3MoSjjquWCJDqnzvsb7Dgth1xMXo0FSzqRNg65P9Jn9NNlzPBq8zpaCegFcTWFFrbZXC30UWhrq0u/s1600-h/Billy+Shakes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY5NQ6t7fWAM4yg4ErDnWly9kpXyOK6lWJ7iFFaA2Eyfped_-YLRuYUqWJ6Z0YqCf3MoSjjquWCJDqnzvsb7Dgth1xMXo0FSzqRNg65P9Jn9NNlzPBq8zpaCegFcTWFFrbZXC30UWhrq0u/s400/Billy+Shakes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327206538762539346" border="0" /></a>Today is William Shakespeare's birthday! And death day! Party at my house -- <span class="line">we'll hold a feast in great <span class="b0">solemnity</span>.</span><br /><br />I sort of love Harold Bloom's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Anxiety_of_Influence"><span style="font-style: italic;">The Anxiety of Influence</span></a>. It makes me feel better about reading and critiquing poetry, mostly because it gives me a reason for being snarky and calling things "derivative." I especially like calling <span style="font-style: italic;">everything </span>derivative of early modern poetry, which is the best poetry ever. In all honesty, Shakespeare the poet is the specter that haunted everybody's work (especially Keats') for the next 200 years, and he's still causing poets plenty of anxiety today. Bloom initially said that influence was not an issue for Shakespeare, but later he admitted that Shakespeare was working through his own anxieties caused by the success of Christopher Marlowe.<br /><br />In other news, did you know that Shakespeare is <a href="http://literarymakeovers.blogspot.com/2009/04/shakespeare-sexier-than-we-thought.html">SUPER SEXY AND HOT</a> now? Well, he is. Happy 445th birthday!Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-33931761208453696302009-04-16T18:17:00.019-04:002009-04-17T19:47:11.385-04:00Sir Francis Drake Revived, 1653<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OVuwKyAYo1Z481A3JwSzYWj2qzfehGYlfEZCTyiAhfpDLBTFoYT7N0IeU-c6wVQJFrT1tD7xIv-4kzBXilWVLY0rToBh9ObVsDwEh9DD9usOk4pw4rQZvi8yjUr4TCDV_8QWA5ry9_oG/s1600-h/Drake.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8OVuwKyAYo1Z481A3JwSzYWj2qzfehGYlfEZCTyiAhfpDLBTFoYT7N0IeU-c6wVQJFrT1tD7xIv-4kzBXilWVLY0rToBh9ObVsDwEh9DD9usOk4pw4rQZvi8yjUr4TCDV_8QWA5ry9_oG/s400/Drake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325417167161371330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Drake">Sir Francis Drake</a> is interesting to me. Not because he defeated the Spanish Armada, or because he circumnavigated the globe or anything boring like that. He interests me because he is one of <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2007/10/fragmenta-regalia-or-observations-on.html">Queen Elizabeth'</a>s 4 main boyfriends--which is so scandalous!! I've dealt with the famous <a href="http://lolmanuscripts.blogspot.com/2007/09/lamentable-new-ballad-upon-earle-of.html">Essex</a> before, and of course<a href="http://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/England-History/RobertDudleyEarlofLeicester.jpg"> Robert Dudley</a> was her first love. However, she definitely went through an "exciting world explorers" phase, which featured Drake (he's<a href="https://arrrpirates.wikispaces.com/file/view/captain-revenge.jpg"> kind of</a> <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/57/Sfdrake42.jpg">hot</a>, isn't he? <a href="http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/ho/08/euwb/ho_35.89.4.htm">He's no Essex</a>, but not bad) and my personal favorite and most crush-worthy royal boyfriend, <a href="http://gallery.nen.gov.uk/gallery_images/0708/0000/0081/nicholas_hilliard_007_mid.jpg">Sir Walter Raleigh</a> . Incidentally, when I'm not writing copious important notes, I am drawing beautifully nuanced and sophisticated portraits like this in my notebook: <a><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 362px; height: 290px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg232YCEcPUDSevRsqKaAKsBbny-ZLTfikKeQ_d7pl2UBGlbnaNvZCs2hWtcnelKAZUmMeXeLLNANLGhEJLJoXUFPhvsGSCUxQtS5XBCljBzMbnbD0PMUN0u88ha_uWenDlOa-Gpdcg3mEG/s400/QE1+%26+WR.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325418654073518994" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I am a very good artist.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-51954246416398302072009-03-16T13:27:00.009-04:002009-03-17T12:55:57.131-04:00The Life and Death of Griffin Flood, 1623<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMvw-cdkJPQqOml2M5NXQdcRAIkiFLo171amzNYK2ZS5A625C3L8sRI92UBitO6SiY0EECR6BPiGXr_hqqjW34KVvz2ReJHDHNxef_n0CWchhc8jrQsRN-Q71ZcxIEHhPlloEtb-CPy3FZ/s1600-h/Pressing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 272px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMvw-cdkJPQqOml2M5NXQdcRAIkiFLo171amzNYK2ZS5A625C3L8sRI92UBitO6SiY0EECR6BPiGXr_hqqjW34KVvz2ReJHDHNxef_n0CWchhc8jrQsRN-Q71ZcxIEHhPlloEtb-CPy3FZ/s400/Pressing.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5313841489548091730" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Griffin Flood was a rogue, con-man and <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xif7z_snow-informer_music">informer </a>who scammed a bunch of people out of their money (and was a tattletale). He specialized in targeting foreigners and apprentices. He is characterized as being "churlish" and loud-mouthed quite often in the pamphlet. Eventually he stabs a constable and a vintner, is caught, and because he won't admit his guilt is sentenced to <i>peine forte et dure</i>, which equates to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crushing">death by pressing</a>. Apparently the guy didn't even have any property to save, so I guess his refusal to plead was just more churlishness. Luckily, Newgate Prison had it's own "Pressing Yard" for just such occasions. He even wrote his own epitath:<br />"Here lyeth Griffin Flood full low in his grave,<br />Who lived a Rascall and died a Knave."Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484722008165788162.post-75870162504472872062009-02-18T08:28:00.002-05:002009-02-18T10:42:42.009-05:00Mars in his field, or, the exercise of arms, 1625<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0wJYjZxMl3cZRW2aTZqPc1oMIhOyR2F4KMsUuUlePIatCBvmUHVwGf5VtUDNW8I18bXLCmEg17vVfBFcHKoq0dcUBMmIU1MehsJKjfnVbrmpnOzLYnEdpDJ-P7rWl_Opw1tTGVxh3TXRU/s1600-h/He+will+cut+you.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 232px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0wJYjZxMl3cZRW2aTZqPc1oMIhOyR2F4KMsUuUlePIatCBvmUHVwGf5VtUDNW8I18bXLCmEg17vVfBFcHKoq0dcUBMmIU1MehsJKjfnVbrmpnOzLYnEdpDJ-P7rWl_Opw1tTGVxh3TXRU/s400/He+will+cut+you.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301979898447572914" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />No you fucking don't. He'll cut you so bad you'll wish he didn't cut you.<br /><br />By the way, if you are presenting your drawn sword higher than your face (as appeareth) you are doing it totally wrong. Where did you take swashbuckling lessons, anyway? Just look at how intimidating you'd look if you knew how to exercise your arms properly.Sarah Redmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06906782424180656885noreply@blogger.com3